"When I am Weak, Then am I Strong"
Whit
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4 Comments
So, it's been two years since my accident. It's amazing the difference a few seconds can make in your life. I was walking along at a pretty good pace (walking every day and losing weight!) when just a small hole caught my foot and I went down.
It took months to diagnose the problem... no broken bones. Sprains take awhile to heal. But mine didn't heal.
I went to a specialist. I'm glad those guys exist. He asks me to hold onto the counter and go up on my toes. I couldn't go up on my right toes. The message just wouldn't go from my brain to my toes.
The doctor knew immediately - it was a tendon on the inside of my right ankle. Ruptured. "Mush." The solution - a cadaver graft. Cool. And that would prevent permanent disability and disfigurement. Because that's where I was headed. I was freaked out.
So, I had the cadaver graft. It worked. I can walk. But I have pain. Every day. And I probably will forever. And it's taken me over a year to realize that and to come to terms with that.
A few things I've learned:
"There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
It took months to diagnose the problem... no broken bones. Sprains take awhile to heal. But mine didn't heal.
I went to a specialist. I'm glad those guys exist. He asks me to hold onto the counter and go up on my toes. I couldn't go up on my right toes. The message just wouldn't go from my brain to my toes.
The doctor knew immediately - it was a tendon on the inside of my right ankle. Ruptured. "Mush." The solution - a cadaver graft. Cool. And that would prevent permanent disability and disfigurement. Because that's where I was headed. I was freaked out.
So, I had the cadaver graft. It worked. I can walk. But I have pain. Every day. And I probably will forever. And it's taken me over a year to realize that and to come to terms with that.
A few things I've learned:
- Interdependence is a higher law than independence.
- I am really strong. The Lord is with me. I am courageous.
- Walking is a blessing that I cannot even begin to give enough gratitude for.
- When a doctor says "you won't be able to walk barefoot again" he's not being mean. He's just saying it won't be possible. When God says if we don't keep his commandments we won't live with him again he's not being mean. He's just saying it won't be possible.
- It isn't about what I do, it's about who I am.
- Hiring a maid does not make me a lesser woman/mother/person.
- I am NOTHING without my Savior, Jesus Christ and his grace.
Some of these I knew already and just re-learned. Sometimes I am a slow learner.
"There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
Wow. You are at such a better place emotionally than I am right now.
Thanks for the inspiration. I've been way WAY too self centered lately. I need to switch my perspective around!
Depends on the day. Seriously. There have been a lot of bad ones. Hang in there. Hope you're doing okay!
Amazing dear Whit...I am glad your physical and emotion progress continues...continued success...Love ya girl
That sounds so hard. But I'm glad for the things you are teaching us