With the qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of being cats? -- Fernand Merv.

• Make the world your playground.
• Always find a good patch of sun to nap in and nap often.
• If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over some very expensive antique lamps.
• Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
• When in doubt, cop an attitude.
• Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them.
• Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
• Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
• When you go out in the world, remember that being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.